When I wish upon a star.

Journey – Open arms

Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mind
Softly you whisper, youre so sincere
How could our live be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side

So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping youll see what your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that youve come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay.

Fast cars and freedom

There’s been this influx of negative things happening my life to date, and really, I don’t particularly feel like going into details about it.

I know I’ve never been one to put my life in the hands of religion, but surely if there’s a God, and He’s as compassionate and loving as He’s made out to be, shouldn’t there be some form of compassion and love towards those who’ve placed their lives wholeheartedly in His hands?

What kind of a God gives nothing but trials and tribulations to the ones who love Him unconditionally?

What kind of a God gives nothing to the ones who give everything to him?

What kind of a God is that?

And people ask me why I’m agnostic.

“You got a fast car, but is it fast enough so you can fly away”
Tracy Chapman – Fast Car

From boys to men

For those who’re consistently whining and bitching about how tough their life is/was during their days in National Service, here’s something to ponder on.

A little gist of what the above embedded video’s about…

The Satere-Mawe tribe in Brazil have a ritual, in which boys stick their hands into a woven glove filled with Paraponera clavata, or bullet ants, for 10 minutes. This ritual marks the transition from boy to man, and proves to the tribe that said boy is worthy of accepting adult roles, and proves to the tribe that he is worthy to be a warrior of the tribe. The sting from the ant holds the “honour” of being the most painful sting in the world, and any chance encounter with said stinger would result in a 24 hour wave of throbbing, undying pain. For the boys in the Satere-Mawe tribe, this ritual will have to be repeated 20 times before they can officially call themselves men of the tribe.

Here’s a second video I found on youtube with regards to an initiation ceremony.

In this video, the boys are subject to thousands of cuts with a razor blade all over their bodies to form patterns. These pre-initiates are then subject to humiliation and shame (from the video, it seemed that the initiated members of the tribe treated them with hardly any semblence of respect during the pre-initiation phase) until their wounds have fully healed, and they’re considered to be initiated into the tribe. Oh did I mention that the boys aren’t allowed to cry out loud while being cut?

Ouch.

Give me National Service anyday over sticking both my hands into gloves full of ants, thank you very much.

Lead by (negative) example please!

Yes I know I just posted, but this is too amazing to pass up. Lead by example, was the message delivered to all senior management in all sectors of the workforce, and said senior management were all encouraged to use retrenchment as the last resort. Senior management were encouraged to lead by example, and to take pay cuts, either deeper or similar to that imposed upon the non-mangerial workers, before putting such salary cuts into play.

I don’t think I’ll need to talk about the irony present in this very article, taking to consideration how much our ministers are bringing home every year as compared to the normal governmental servant working in the civil sector, like my dad for instance. $60-$72k a year as compared to $1.2m or more a year? It’s absurd that my dad takes a pay cut, whereas our ministers do not.

True, its undeniable that our ministers are the elites among the elites, with most of them holding Doctorates from foreign universities, much less deniable that they’ve done their role in governing Singapore, extremely well too, if I may add.

However, is it thus safe to say that civil sector workers such as my dad are no less important as compared to say, the Minister of Education? Without blue-collared or lower-level white-collared workers, will there be an IR to speak of? Will there be NUS to speak of?

If civil servants take a pay cut, and their immediate superiors take a deeper pay cut, why aren’t we seeing ministers taking a pay cut as well? They were the ones who imposed a self-declared salary hike, in a progressive package in the midst of the economic downturn, so now that Singapore’s experiencing a technical recession, why aren’t we seeing a self-declared pay cut?

Do they really expect to be treated as a cut above the rest, expecting the rest to take a pay cut to justify retrenchment and any form of “cost-saving” measures, while they’re taking home $1.2 million each year?

Lead by example please!

OH WOE TO US.

Woman’s $8.8million frozen

From the article, a 91 year old woman had SGD$8.8million frozen in her OCBC account, despite repeated instructions by her to “close her account”, with OCBC officials citing doubts with regards to the old lady’s “mental capacity to manager her financial affairs independently”, and claiming that they “acted in line with the duty of care imposed upon them by law”.

Such an honourable act, protecting the assets of a senile old lady from the greedy, grubby paws of her loved ones, who’re most likely trying to swindle the money from her.

Such an honourable act, insisting that the old lady be examined by a psychiatrists when this old lady hired a fucking lawyer to apply for summary judgement with regards to this case. This old lady must have been mentally incapable of managing her financial assets well – she blew a chunk of cash to hire a lawyer and to fight her case in court! Imagine the amount of money spent on taxi-ing to and fro from court, oh and to her lawyer’s office as well!

Such an honourable act, leading a 91 year old woman, deemed mentally incapable of managing her finances, into a room for a “face to face meeting with senior bank officials” and the ubiquitous PR manager. If this old lady was incapable of managing her finances, and deemed to be in a poor mental state, how the flying fuck can she comprehend what senior bank officials are saying?

Bank officials: Ah soh ah… your money ah… cannot let you take cuz you kee siao already.
Ah soh: Similanjiao? Go market buy fish ah ok ok i pay $1000 for fish hor ok.

The irony’s so thick that I could cut it with a damned knife.

On Aug 29, Madam Hwang filed a suit against OCBC for breach of contract. She wanted the High Court to compel the bank to give back her money.

Explain to me once again, how an old lady who’s supposedly mentally incapable of managing her finances could have filed a fucking lawsuit against OCBC for a very specific clause – breach of contract. She explicitly stated that she wanted her cash back, yet OCBC insisted that they would not process further instructions with regards to her account, because they were duty-bound to “protect” her. How is this protecting the old lady?

Isn’t it the old lady’s perogative to close her account? If she was obviously senile and incapable of managing her funds, it would be an obvious choice to deny her access to the account. However, in this case, the old lady FILED FUCKING LAWSUITS against OCBC. If this doesn’t prove that the fiesty old lady’s perfectly fine, I don’t know what else would.

It is our duty, as morally upright citizens, to take care and look out for the interests of the elderly, as they are automatically deemed to be senile once they’re old. Thus it is definitely appropriated for OCBC to freeze her assets, and to deny any access to it. Woe to OCBC should the old lady’s loved once plunder her account, and waste $8.8m of her hard earned money on worthless minibonds, the way the various Town Councils did! Woe to OCBC should her loved ones remove $8.8m from her account, and close it, rendering OCBC one less customer! Woe to OCBC should her loved ones plunder the $8.8m on worthless minibonds, such as Merrill Lynch and Lehman Bros minibonds! (Did I mention this earlier? OOPS I DID!)

Woe to us, should we not look out for the interests of the elderly.

The elderly should not have control over their finances! The elderly should not have control over their lives!

The elderly should not be given the reins and the keys to a country!

Woe to us should this ever happen!

Oh no, WOE TO US NOW.

Radical new proposition to the Government!

Jailed for pedestrian’s death
This is an amazing article, and I say amazing not in awe or with a wow factor, but with a resigned sigh in place.

From the article, a young lady driver noticed an elderly couple waiting to cross the road off Dunman Road, and honked her horn at them to warn them that she was approaching. Perfectly normal and as per what the Basic Theory book taught no? Here’s the kicker – instead of practicing some semblence of defensive driving, our protagonist stepped on the accelerator, thinking that the elderly couple would give way to the vehicle. No surprise there, as her car slammed right into the elderly couple, killing one and injuring the other. The lady driver was subsequently jailed for a month and banned from driving for 5 years.

What on earth’s happening to young drivers nowadays? I’m no old fart myself – 22, to be exact, but I dare say that I don’t do stupid things on the road like accelerate after honking at people on the road. I do speed occasionally on the expressway, but I sure as hell practice some form of defensive driving and I sure as hell do not assume that others will give way to me, or that simply because I have the right of way, I can do as I please.

It definitely comes as no surprise that there’re so many teenagers nowadays dying in road traffic accidents involving powerful sportscars, or motorcycles. In my opinion, that’s just Darwinism at work.

It’s nice and dandy that little rich kids have rich parents who’re willing to buy powerful sports cars for their beloved spawns and offsprings because they “love their satanic spawns” too damned much.

It’s also nice that said parents believe in giving their kids the best that money can buy, and as such, an excessive (read: disgusting) amount of pocket money, paving the way for these kids to zhng, or modify their cars because they are racers or it’s cool to be a racer like Jay Chou in Initial D or that angmoh fucktard in Tokyo Drift.

It’s DEFINITELY wonderful that these kids, with their pseudo-racer mentality, take it that girls get wet at their little secret place when they’re seated in a car going vroom vroom at 160kmph or more, and will probably want to suck their dicks because the modifications to the sports car made the engine vibrate MORE than a typical vibrator.

So vroom vroom goes the car, ugh ugh goes the girl, fap fap thinks the humsup driver, and screech screech boom goes the powerful sports car when it spins out of control and slams into a lamp post, or another vehicle.

Oh and boo-hoo-fucking-hoo for their parents, as their poor talented little offsprings head off to meet Satan in their afterlife, or if they were nice little kids, Jebus in Heaven to get bitch slapped for being such idiots.

We need MORE road traffic accidents involving teenagers, sportscars, and preferably lamp posts. Collateral damage should, and has to be kept to a strict zero, simply because we shouldn’t have to pay for the stupidity of others. Why lamp posts, you may ask.

I draw your attention to “$12m in troubled products, where two town councils have about SGD$12,000,000 in bad investment products, aka Lehman Minibonds and Merrill Lynch Jubilee Series 3. This SGD$12 million, meant for upgrading works to HDB buildings, routine mantainance, and any other long term repair works, has disappeared, and because this was an honest mistake, we as nice little Sillyporeans should move on and not harp on this anymore. Thus, it would be a win-win situation if little rich kids ram their sportscars into lamp posts, as they’ll be required to pay for the damaged lamp post.

Should enough stupid rich kids crash their performance cars into enough lamp posts, the Singapore government might actually be able to cover their SGD$12,000,000 losses! All they have to do is to reduce the number of Traffic Police patrols, police road blocks, as well as the removal of speed cameras on places popular with “racers”.

Perhaps the Government could name Marina Bay’s new landmark bridge Racer’s Bridge, in the hopes that it’ll attract all the racers to congregate and race there. By declaring the bridge a racing zone and removing ALL traffic police/police roadblocks and patrols in the area, and not installing any speed cameras, the Singapore Police Force can effectively cut down on operational costs, and with more lampposts being damaged, earn revenue to cover the SGD$12,000,000 deficit!

On an unrelated note, the Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA) would like members of the public to name the above mentioned bridge. Seeing how Singapore has a trend of naming key landmarks in a rather duh fashion (ie. Budget Terminal, Marina Bay…) I suggest that the URA name the bridge “The Marina Bay Bridge linking the Bayfront area to Marina Center”, or simply “The Long Bridge”. There’s no need for arty farty sciency names like “DNA link” or “Double-helix” because the typical Singaporean will not be able to understand it! By giving it a simplistic name, this will ensure that your typical Singapore will remember the bridge, and actually know what it means when they introduce it to foreigners.

FT (Foreign “talent”): Excuse me, what bridge is that?
SG (Singaporean): Oh that one ah… the long bridge loh.
FT: ??? Yes, it’s long indeed, but what’s the name of the bridge?
SG: Jibai lah you think limpeh bluffing you ijjits? The Long Bridge lah silang angmoh… don’t unnerstand say don’t unnerstand lah. Gong simi lanjiao ang mor… Hor gao kan larh pui.

For the fucking win please.