Early on while I was still at work, I happened to chance upon (hehe. happened. chance.) an article on Dave Teo’s case and I read with amazement at how absurd the entire thing was. Dave Teo stole a SAR-21 automatic rifle, along with 5 live rounds out of his camp while on guard duty. He retrieved three more rounds from his house, and proceeded to Geylang to fuck the shit out of a hooker. Happy with his fuck, he took the loaded rifle and went to town – yes I say loaded because he cocked and loaded a round into the chamber, and like any good NSF, placed the fucking rifle on safe. 1 day off for Cpl (Was he a cpl?) Dave Teo for remembering what his Platoon Sergeant said in BMT, “FUCKING CHEEBYE TEO PUT YOUR FUCKING RIFLE ON FUCKING SAFE YOU JIBAI WHICH PART OF SAFE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU WANT ME TO GO THERE AND FUCKING SLAP YOU ISSIT! PUT YOUR FUCKING RIFLE ON SAFE YOU CHAO CHEE BYE!”

Anyhoo. He proceeded to fuck around a little, before finally being arrested at Cineleisure’s toilet, and here’s the kicker, with the motherfucking rifle on him, complete with 8 live rounds. For the uninformed, the SAR21 fires a 5.56mm round, and fires at a rate of (if I don’t remember wrongly) ~600rpm. Which meant that if that crazy motherfucker squeezed the trigger with his SAR21 set on auto, it would deplete his rounds in less than 2 seconds.

So this Dave Teo steals a rifle, steals live rounds, tells his friend/pimp/ossifer, that he wants to kill himself/scare his gf/shoot and kill 5 people he hated (delete where applicable), and receives 9 years in jail and 18 strokes of the cane. The Judge even said gave him encouraging words and told him to make full use of his time in jail. Yeah right, I hope the only way he’ll make full use of his time is to figure out which way to cut along his wrist

Why so harsh? You ask.

Let me break it down for you in simple laymen terms. Dave Teo expressed intent to kill 5 people, expressed intent to scare his girlfriend with the rifle, expressed intent to kill himself. If I walked around telling people that I wanted to stab some dude with a screwdriver, and actually stole one from a hardware store, I would be royally, majorly fucked.

Dave Teo went AWOL and left his assigned place of duty before he was officially relieved. That would be summary execution in wartime, and probably jail term during peacetime.

Dave Teo stole a motherfucking rifle and live rounds from his camp. That would be jail time with lots of KY jelly.

Dave Teo was sentenced to 9 years in prison and 18 strokes of the cane, and may be charged in a military court when he ORDs from Changi Prison. How can anybody in their right sense of mind allow a person like him to walk the very streets that he did, albeit carrying a fucking loaded rifle, to be allowed to assimilate back into society, the very society that he threatened and the very country that he betrayed by shaming his comrades in green?

Oh yes did I mention that because of his very cool act of walking out of camp with a loaded rifle, the Duty Ossifer, the Guard Commander and basically anybody around or above him in rank would probably be subject to disciplinary action?

Non-prevention of offences
27. Every person subject to military law who knows that another person is planning or attempting to commit an offence under section 11, 12, 15, 22 or 23 and fails to take reasonable steps to suppress or prevent its commission shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction by a subordinate military court to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years or any less punishment authorised by this Act.

Failure to report deserters and absentees
24. Every person subject to military law who, knowing that any other person has committed an offence under section 22 or 23 —

(a) fails to report the fact without delay; or

(b) fails to take any steps within his power to cause that person to be apprehended,

shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction by a subordinate military court to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years or any less punishment authorised by this Act.

So yes, please tell me again why there’s so much press coverage over such a retard. Pray tell me why.

I bring you attention over to http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/358406/1/.html, where an EVO driver crashed into a cab and killed both the cabbie and the passenger on the spot.

Is this not juicy enough news for you?

Young punk crashes heavily modded rally/race car into taxi, killing both the passenger and the driver instantly! All this and more, only on Channel FuckenFive!

But yes, fucking young punk with a need for speed gets his daddy to sponsor moolah for him to zhng his “brand new” 2nd hand EVO, complete with fucken huge-ass spoiler, side skirts, sports rims and of course, the ZHNGED AND TUNED engine.

He raced a DC5R, heavily modded no doubt, and tried in vain to catch up with the car, thus beating a red light, and crashing into the taxi.

And all that, just to impress some chick who was probably sitting next to him, gripping the sides of the new and impressive looking bucket seat and trying her best not to puke her fucking guts out. Well gues what, she probably wasn’t too impressed, seeing how she had to be taken to the hospital, then to the Police Station for questioning – and hey! If she’s a driver too, she’ll be charged for not stopping him from racing!

Channel News Asia dedicated a page to this incident at http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/358406/1/.html, and flashed a short Newsflash for all of 10 seconds.

Straight Times (because its so impartial, its straight!) didn’t bother running an article because it didn’t concern: Singapore Politics, Malaysian Politics, Rape, Murder, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Gay Sex, Lesbian Sex, Tentacle sex… oops did I say that?

Well, so where’s the press coverage on this incident Mr. Newsman? Sure, Dave Teo’s parents lost their son, but surely his life should be worth less as compared to two innocent parties right?


Where’s the motherfucking press coverage you bunch of pencil-pushing dick-sucking pus-nutted pencil-cocked shit-for-brain pansies.