Ok so maybe I’m blogging this (and sounding) like an angsty, crusty old man because I’ve slept for less than 16 hours in two days, and that’s not good, because I should sleep more to catch up on my lack of sleep.

I just happened to pop by a Cheers station at CCK mrt station before heading down to Clementi to meet Charlotte last night, to get myself my cigs. I stepped in, noticed that the shop was empty, and headed straight to the counter to ask for “a pack of Viceroy Lights please”. Notice I even said “Please” with a smile.

Before I go on, let me just say that when I stepped into Cheers and that irritating kaninabu chime went “DING-DONG!”, the cashier, a pimply teenage girl in specs ACTUALLY said, “GOOD EVENING!” to me. However, the moment I stepped over and asked my fags, she suddenly became a deaf, dumb and mute person. She took my ATM card, swiped it and literally threw the machine at me to key in my PIN, following which she kinda just threw my cigerettes, and card together on the counter. Me, being the nice fucker I am, said, “Thanks” and walked away.

Kaninah she didn’t even say “You’re welcomed” can. Machiam her mouth got gold, if she opens it to say anything, I’ll steal it and buy more cigerettes. Or maybe she’s just afraid that I’ll shove 10 sticks of cigs into her mouth to make her smoke it all if she opens her mouth. Nabei since when was buying and smoking cigerettes a crime?

That wasn’t the end of it. After getting what I needed and heading over to the smoking area around the mrt station to take a quick puff, I noticed this secondary school girl sitting nearby with her name tag on her school bag. I don’t know when their schools allowed them to customise their name tags, but I’m quite fucking sure that wasn’t her name.

Because it read “cHeRlYx” on it.

LIKE SIMI LANCHEOW LAR I THOUGHT NOBODY SPELT LIKE THATXX ALREADYXXX.

Which brings me onto something which I cannot grasp, no matter how hard I think, or how many cigerettes I smoke. Why do people love spelling in various wierd forms. I don’t mean spialing werds differentzly to klose frenz or sometheeng, but I mean typing like absolute fucking morons regardless of who they’re talking to.

For example, this bitch on my MSN has her nick as, “its amazing how yu can speak right t mah heart”. Perhaps her keyboard’s missing the letters “O”, seeing how she missed out “O”s from two words, and she probably has a fetish for the letters “A” and “H”, seeing how it forms the word “AH” which is probably her favourite fucking noise from her favourite fucking activity. AH. HA.

Some random fella on Friendster happened to add me, and in her profile, she states her interest as “aNyThIn tT I lYk” and under people she’d like to meet, “eUUu~!” EWW INDEED GODDAMN IT. Like what the FUCK. Are teenagers in Singapore getting dumb, dumber, dumberest? Or is the education system just FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REPAIR (FUBAR)? Under her friends, there’re GUYS who take bukkake-angle shots of them with that puffy-cheek-eyeball-popping look that screams “CUM ON ME”, and who have captions like “iTs MiE!” or “sIdE vIeW, mE ISh lYks It a LoTz!” like simi lanjiao lah, your mother also won’t like it loh.

Sometimes I wish the grammar police existed to arrest such morons, and place them in lessons where they learn how to spell words correctly, and learn that its not good to spell like total absolute retards. They should probably write a book iN tHiSh KiNdaX lAnGuaGeX~, then force them to read it. To make the lesson more interesting, they should get retards to record an audio book, pronounced the same way its written, and then force them to listen to it for a few days. That should get rid of fuckers who sPeLl lYk dIs~ and mAkE mIe aNd eU hAppie~.

UGH.

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