alvyn

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Musicality Part Deux

In 1 on August 26, 2008 at 3:32 pm

First of all, why the hell are people searching for “alvyn wordpress” in google? If they know that I’m hosted on wordpress, why can’t they just type in “http://alvyn.wordpress.com”? :O Baffling.

Jamming and performing with Clarence and Ivan has taught me alot indeed, both musically, and with regards to life in general. There’re really no boundaries between us, no holding back on both praise and criticism – and that’s what I like in a band.

Take me and Ivan for instances. Back in the days of Shakenotstirred, we had countless run-ins, and a few times where words almost turned into blows. But ultimately at the end of the day, we could put our differences aside and worked together as musicians. Whatever personal problems we had were never brought into the studio, and most importantly, never on stage. The lines between our personal lives and professional lives were drawn clear, and we never crossed them. What I liked best was how we settled our problems. We faced off, we shouted, we cursed and swore at each other, but at the end of the day, we could settle our problems once and for all because we were willing to confront each other and to trash things through.

I don’t have a beer with me now, but if I did, I’d raise a toast to Clarence, Ivan, Jeremy, to older days with Shakenotstirred, and to new musical beginnings.

Lucille – Sphere of love

In 1 on August 20, 2008 at 5:49 pm

Accountability vs Transparency

In 1 on August 20, 2008 at 12:53 pm

Something I posted a while ago on blogsome (which is now dead fyi) that I thought actually made a lot of sense.


Radical transparency is a management method where nearly all decision making is carried out publicly.

All draft documents, all arguments for and against a proposal, the decisions about the decision making process itself, and all final decisions, are made publicly and remain publicly archived. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_transparency)

Why is there a need to have a structure in an organisation, when decisions made “at the top” remains status quo? Do individual member votes count, if the people in power and authority decide to hold “further discussions” and ultimate decide to act against said decision, or to reverse a particular decision?

Hierarchial structures in an organisation, regardless of size, is of utmost importance because it legitimizes the organisation, and provides a clear leader, or leaders, for its followers, or members, to look to for guidance, advice, and to settle and resolve conflicts.

However, for an organisation to be truly legitimate and recognised as such, hierarchial structures are not the only things that would play a part, but should work in tandem with transparency and accountability.

Though the concept of transparency should be perceived as

Transparency is introduced as a means of holding public officials accountable and fighting corruption. When government meetings are open to the press and the public, when budgets and financial statements may be reviewed by anyone, when laws, rules and decisions are open to discussion, they are seen as transparent and there is less opportunity for the authorities to abuse the system in their own interest. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transparency_%28humanities%29)

it can be “dumbed down” and seen as a means of holding individuals in positions of power accountable to decisions made by either by said individual, or by a group that includes said individual, without prior knowledge or consultation of other ordinary members of the organisation.

Some people may argue that transparency and accountability should only be important where the decisions made are of great importance, or if there’s money involved in the decision. But I say that’s total bullshit, because irregardless of the position you hold, as long as you make a decision, you make it an open, and a completely transparent decision, explaining to members and committee members alike why you made the particular decision. If you asked for a vote prior to decision making, yet changed your mind after a “discussion” with the committee members, then make that clear and make a statement explaining and detailing the factors that led to a “discussion”, and ultimately, the revamped decision.

It doesn’t matter how important you think your organisation is, or is not. It doesn’t matter how important you think you are, or are not. It doesn’t even matter how much of a difference you think it’ll make, or will not make.

We bitch, whine and complain about how much lack of transparency we have to endure as Singaporeans, and how the government only makes privy information that works in their benefit. How often have we took a step back and examined if we as logical, educated Singaporeans have made this leap of faith in our daily lives, and in the organisations and committees that we dedicate ourselves to?

What if I said I’m not another one

In 1 on August 16, 2008 at 4:14 am

So many things happening recently that I don’t even know where to start, or if I should even start.

I’m just really glad this week’s going to be over soon and I can get some semblence of order back in my life, with the multitude of gigs being cleared this week alone. No more practices dragging me away from my friends, block stuff and from spending time with the most important person around – myself. I’ve skipped every single lecture this week (yay me), and I’m not proud of it. I’ll probably start heading back for lectures next week or so.

I’ve already fucked up my life as it is, and it really is time for me to stop fucking it up any further.

I’m probably a fucking wreck as compared to some of my friends back in secondary school, hell even those from JC, or in D block with me. I’m not proud of my “accomplishments”, neither do I think that it makes me special or cool, don’t judge me on what I choose to do with my life, friend.

I drink, I smoke, I do the occasional illegal shit now and then, but these are all lifestyle choices.

You wanna curl your hair? Do it.

You wanna have ice lemon tea over coke? Do it.

You wanna attend lecture next week rather than today? Do it.

It’s probably not a good comparison, but you get my drift. I made the choices in my life, I chose to smoke, to drink, and to generally fuck my life up, but that doesn’t make me a bad person per se. My lifestyle choices do not affect who I am, and what I am in general. Yes, my lifestyle choices may be detrimental to the ones around me who really do care for me, but its my life, and I would like it very much if you could accept what I’m doing to myself, and just either be with me or be against me.

This academic year started out horribly wrong and completely out of whack, let’s just hope that it won’t stay this way throughout or I’m seriously fucked.

More time alone on the rooftop with my smokes, music and the hammock should do me some good.

Now playing: Foo Fighters – The Pretender

Hall bash!

In 1 on August 15, 2008 at 3:06 am

This year’s hall bash was undoubtedly better than last years, with the addition of the band that played, along with the funky bassist and drummer!

Of course the crowd was good too, and the dance on the erm, dance floor, was fun too. I swear I never let loose this much before ever since I got to hall.

More of this shit please!

Burnt out

In 1 on August 13, 2008 at 4:36 am

I’ve bitten off more than I could chew, and I’m starting to regret it. There’s just too much happening now, too much for me to take it in my stride, to even shrug it off or laugh it off.

I need some time on my own to think, to work things out, to make everything right again.

Life’s weird like that. Things’ll go your way for a while, maybe even for a long time, and all’s fine as long as nobody gets hurt. Then the shit’ll just hit the fan, and you’ll find yourself with too much bullshit and too little carpet to sweep it all under. At the end of the day, you’ll find yourself with too little carpet and too much bullshit. Then you know you’re fucked.

It’s not easy like that, not being able to share how you feel with people, or just finding out that somehow, you don’t know who to confide in, to talk to, or to just share your problems with. You start seeking solace in other things and you realise how fucking pathetic you are, no matter what you’re achieved in other aspects.

Too much shit happening, too many things on my mind, too much problems for me to solve. I want to think that I’m superman and I’ll make things happen, that I’ll be able to make it all alright soon – but I can’t.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I’ll be captivated
I’ll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I’ll be your crying shoulder
I’ll be your love suicide
and I’ll be better when I’m older
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You’re my survival, you’re my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I’ll be captivated I’ll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

I’ve been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

Breaking Benjamin – Forget it

In 1 on July 15, 2008 at 9:04 am

It’s a crime you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I’ll let it happen to you
Out of mind, forget it there’s nothing to lose
but my mind and all the things I wanted

Evertime I get it I throw it away
It’s a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
by the time I lose it I’m not afraid
of looking at you truly fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You’re the part of me that I don’t wanna see

Forget it

There’s a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I’m alone but only breath you can breath
to question every answer coming

Just send away
Please me let me stay
Coming your way

Forget it

It’s a crime you let it happen to me
Out of mind, I love it, easy to please
Nevermind, forget it, just memories
All the pain inside a spiral notebook

Just send away
Please let me stay
Coming your way
I can live forever here

Forget it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You’re a part of me that I don’t wanna see

I can live forever here

Journey – Faithfully

In 1 on July 12, 2008 at 1:56 am

[ link ]

Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You’re on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin’ all my love
Along the wire

They say that the road
Ain’t no place to start a family
Right down the line
It’s been you and me
And lovin’ a music man
Ain’t all it’s supposed to be

Oh girl you stand by me
I’m forever yours…faithfully

Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another showWondering where I am
Lost without you

And being apart ain’t easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy
Of redescovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I’m forever yours…faithfully

Oh, oh, oh, oh …
Faithfully, I’m still yours
I’m forever yours
Ever yours…faithfully